Family Secrets

Every family has secrets. Some of these secrets travel from one generation to the other to keep family close and be a basis of family solidarity. But there are other secrets. Which can separate family members and even make them foils.

Ewan Imber-Black in her book described 4 types of family secrets:

• Essentials
• Sweet
• Toxic
• Dangerous

If the first two types of secrets are usually pleasant, sweet secrets usually bring fun and surprises into your life, and essential secrets foster family closeness, but toxic secrets are usually poisoned in their nature, may disconnect members of a family, and make them strangers to each other. A good example of this type of secret are suicides in a family, gambling, extramarital affairs, and plans for divorce. A dangerous type of family secrets is those which put you in danger such as suicide, violence in the family, life-cripping, addictions, rape, child neglect and abuse.

Below I would like to present you with natal charts of well-known people whose life was coloured with different family secrets which for some reason affected them in the long run.

John Joseph Nicholson was born on April 22, 1937, at 11:00 AM in Neptune City, New Jersey. His mother, June Frances Nicholson, was a showgirl who also went by the stage name June Nilson, born in 1918 and passing away in 1963. Of mixed heritage, she had Irish, English, German, and Welsh ancestry. Nicholson has embraced his Irish roots, drawing comparisons to playwright Eugene O'Neill, whom he portrayed in the film Reds. He once remarked, "I'm not saying I'm as tormented as he was... but I am a writer, I am Irish, I have had issues with my family."

In 1936, Nicholson's mother married Donald Furcillo, an Italian-American showman known as Donald Rose, who was already married. There's speculation, suggested by biographer Patrick McGilligan, that Eddie King, June's manager originally named Edgar A. Kirschfeld and born in Latvia, might be Nicholson's biological father instead of Furcillo. Confusion about Nicholson's paternity has persisted over the years.

June, being young and unmarried at the time of Nicholson's birth, agreed with her parents to raise him as their own child while keeping his true parentage secret, with June posing as his sister. It wasn't until 1974, when researchers from Time magazine uncovered the truth, that Nicholson learned June was his mother and his supposed sister Lorraine was his aunt. By then, both his mother and grandmother had passed away (in 1963 and 1970, respectively). Upon discovering the truth, Nicholson admitted it was a significant revelation but didn't consider it traumatic, stating, "It was a pretty dramatic event, but it wasn't what I'd call traumatizing... I was pretty well psychologically formed."

Consider the placement of the Moon in his astrological chart. Positioned in the 3rd house in opposition to Saturn in the 9th house, it suggests that he perceived his mother as an elderly figure who raised him. However, this strong opposition between the Moon and Saturn in the 9th house could also imply that his mother was entrusted to him through some form of agreement. Recall how his grandmother agreed to care for him while keeping the truth concealed—that the woman he believed to be his older sister was, in fact, his biological mother, who was engaged in theatrical endeavours.

Furthermore, the fact that he was raised not by his biological mother is echoed in the 3rd house which represents siblings. That means that his mother played the role of his older sister. Neptune's influence in the same house is associated with secrecy in one's life.

The presence of Uranus in the 10th house strongly suggests that Jack never had the opportunity to meet his father, hinting at the possibility that his mother became pregnant from a one-night encounter.

It is noteworthy to examine the significance of Retrograde Venus in the 10th house, forming a square aspect to Pluto in the 12th house, which is conjunct with the Ascendant

In youth, individuals with a retrograde Venus may display a certain shyness, possibly stemming from discomfort with small talk and social formalities, along with a distaste for superficial interactions. While love holds immense significance for them, they might not overtly express it, leaving others unaware of the depth of their emotions. There's always more to discover about these individuals beyond initial impressions, with aspects of their love life, and sometimes financial matters kept discreet.

Those born under Venus retrograde must be cautious of sabotaging their romantic relationships. They might harbour a persistent feeling of inadequacy, doubting their attractiveness or worthiness of love, often rooted in deep-seated insecurities. Issues with self-love can arise, leading to compensatory behaviours like overeating or serial dating, or conversely, convincing themselves that they don't need love at all. These fluctuations can occur within the same individual over their lifetime, highlighting the need for a sought-after balance.

For individuals born with Venus retrograde, relationships often carry significant weight, capable of either uplifting or deeply affecting them. They approach relationships with utmost seriousness, harbouring a profound fear of rejection. Following a breakup, they may undergo an unusually protracted emotional healing process, regardless of whether they have outwardly moved on or not. Recovering from a challenging relationship or breakup can be a prolonged journey, spanning many years before emotional closure is attained. The square between Venus and Pluto in his chart points that for Jack all his life, it was very important to keep his close relationship in a secret. His inner fear of being betrayed, I guess, was the reason to make a commitment in his life, despite being a father of 6 children by 5 women but married only once. 

Jack Nicholson’s story is a good example of how family secrets can affect a personal life and put a deep emotional wound into the soul for a whole life. 

Amy Tan is an American writer of Chinese heritage who was born on February 19, 1952, in Oakland, California at 10:16 am. 

She occupies the middle position among three siblings, born to Chinese immigrants John and Daisy Tan. Her father, an electrical engineer and Baptist minister, sought refuge in the United States amid the turmoil of the Chinese Civil War. Reflecting on her upbringing, she fondly recalls bonding moments with her father, delving into the depths of the thesaurus together, driven by his keen curiosity about the essence of words. This shared exploration marked the genesis of her journey toward becoming a writer, inspired by the desire to harness the power of language to weave narratives that resonated with her quest for understanding and connection.

At the age of fifteen, tragedy struck when both her father and older brother, Peter, succumbed to brain tumours within a mere six-month span. Following this devastating loss, her mother, Daisy, decided to relocate Amy and her younger brother, John Jr., to Switzerland. It was there that Amy completed her high school education at the Institut Monte Rosa in Montreux.

During this period of upheaval, Amy unearthed profound revelations about her mother's past, including Daisy's previous marriage to another man in China and the existence of four children from that union (including a son who tragically passed away as a toddler), whom Daisy had left behind in Shanghai. This revelation served as a pivotal inspiration for Amy's inaugural novel, "The Joy Luck Club."

In 1987, Amy embarked on a journey to China alongside Daisy, where she had the opportunity to meet her three half-sisters, further enriching her understanding of her family's complex history.

Amy's relationship with her mother was fraught with difficulties. In a particularly tense moment during an argument over Amy's new boyfriend, Daisy resorted to holding a knife to Amy's throat, threatening her life. Despite this alarming incident, Daisy's underlying message to Amy emphasized the importance of independence and self-sufficiency.

As Amy delved deeper into her family history, she discovered unsettling truths about her mother's past, including Daisy's experience of undergoing three abortions while living in China. Daisy's struggles extended beyond her relationship with Amy, as she often expressed thoughts of suicide, expressing a desire to reunite with her own mother, who had tragically taken her own life. Although Daisy made attempts on her own life, she never succeeded.

Daisy ultimately passed away in 1999 at the age of 83, succumbing to Alzheimer's disease. Her death marked the end of a complex and tumultuous relationship with Amy, leaving behind a legacy of unresolved emotions and painful memories.

During her time at Berkeley, Tan faced a traumatic experience when her roommate was murdered, compelling her to identify the body. This harrowing incident rendered her temporarily unable to speak. Tan revealed that for a decade thereafter, she annually lost her voice on the anniversary of the day she had to identify the body.

In 1998, Tan was diagnosed with Lyme disease, which remained undetected for several years, leading to complications such as epileptic seizures. In response to her struggles, Tan co-founded LymeAid 4 Kids, an organization dedicated to assisting uninsured children in affording treatment for Lyme disease. She candidly shared her battle with Lyme disease in a piece published in The New York Times.

Moreover, Tan grapples with depression and relies on antidepressants for management. Her decision not to have children partly stems from a fear of passing on a genetic predisposition to mental health issues; her maternal grandmother died by suicide, her mother frequently mentioned suicidal thoughts, and Tan herself has confronted suicidal tendencies.

Her natal chart shows a life full of hard work and family secrets. Usually, when 6 house in the natal chart has more than one planet it says that individual should work very hard in life, even more than others, to achieve their goals.

Mars from 6 house makes a trine to Uranus in the 3 house (Writing) which shows that she worked hard on her writing on a very special topic - the life of Chinese community in San Francisco. Mars also makes a square to Pluto in 4 house - she had to gid very deep to understand her family story. Pluto in 4 house usually points to the idea that something must be clean, and secrets should come to the surface of life that opens new opportunities to move forward. 

The trine between Moon in 8 house, Pluto in 4 house and Jupiter in 12 house means a taught connection between mental health (8 and 12 houses) and emotional issues in this family coming from her grandmother (Jupiter in 12 - suicide), mother mental issues (Moon in 8 house) and all this connected to deep sectors (Pluto in 4) which should be cleaned.
 

One more observation of Amy Tan - Venus on MC. Usually, people who have it keep their beautiful appearance till very old age. Amy Tan is a good example of it.

All above are only two very humble examples of how astrology can show and help to understand secrets in one family. How little secrets can poison a personal life and put great pressure on a person during life.